Wednesday, November 28, 2012

It takes grown ups to make relationships work

Sometimes it's better for two people to break up.. so they can grow up. It takes grown ups to make relationships work.

               Theoretically, this day is supposed to be a special day not only for me, for someone else as well. Things happened and this theoretical celebration is nothing but a fantasy, For Now, I believe. What happened was relatively simple, an exponential expectation lead to an exponential disappointment. Disappointment lead to nightly tears, which I found more woeful as time goes by until the time came when WE decided to end it. I was and always will be the exuberant, gimmick-filled, and effortful lover, like those in movies, the main difference is I make it happen in real life and I can keep my consistency. The source of the disappointments was the lack of time and the efforts and gimmicks I did was lackluster. That decision to end it scarred both of us, but it became the start of a journey to self-healing, growth towards maturity and it served as a road to better ourselves as a person. This past year could be considered my Golden Era, a term used to describe someone who simultaneously meets and greets different women, and further gratification of my title ‘BABAERONG WALANG BABAE’. Admittedly, I had met a lot of women, I had no emotional attachments  to ALMOST all of them but the sheer number of women I met and befriended made me look like a flirt between the eyes of many including hers. Details will not be discussed publicly. As I continue to meet and greet and ‘flirt’ realizations came as to whom I really want to be, who I want to be with and who I want to be with that person. As of now, I firmly believe I had matured and become a better person. I believe that what we went through was necessary as I also believe that Sometimes it's better for two people to break up.. so they can grow up. It takes grown ups to make relationships work. My Golden Era will serve as my best contradiction to all of my realizations but I will slowly try, nullify and subsequently gain back her trust and restore my image of a sweet and loyal person. I know I had proven the latter to her. Since I am restricted to do anything, don’t give me ‘KUNG GUSTO MAY PARAAN KUNG AYAW MAY DAHILAN’ bullshit. She asked for me to hold back until sometime and that is what I intend to do FOR THE TIME BEING. Reminiscing down memory lane is probably the best thing I could do now. This is for you, my beloved:

My Life is at Continuity
My Heart Beats With Velocity
Seeing You In Frequency
My Day is at Efficiency
You are my Gravity
The Kinetics of my Energy
Zero Maybe Our Relativity
My Love For You’s Infinity
A Love with much Intensity
I Can’t Explain its Diversity
You Are My Reality
In My World of Animosity

Hoping to be only yours again,
James Norman C. Tenorio


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